Escaping The Light
by Omnicyde
Summary: An AU where Max is born into an extremely religious community. And the trials and tribulations of a girl that likes girls, and just wants things to be better. TW for homophobia, some DV.
1. Genesis

**The early years**

Max Caulfield believed in her faith.

For a long time, anyway.

When she was a little girl, growing up in a small Oregon town called Arcadia Bay, she believed her parents would love her forever. Just like they told her they would.

When she was six, she believed her mother was the best in the world. She was always there, taking care of Max. She cooked amazing food, showed her how to do her hair, and kissed every boo-boo. And she made sure to take Max to the park every day, to play with her friends from their church.

When she was seven, she believed that her father was perfect. He was so smart; he had the answer for every question she could ask. Her dad even commented that she was a very curious little girl. He knew why the sky was blue, what the clouds were made of, why it rained, everything. He always had time for her after work, gave her piggyback rides, read bedtime stories, and everything else that a great dad was supposed to do.

When she was ten, she believed that the church was always right. Her parents were incredibly religious, and her father was a church Elder. Every Wednesday night, after he came home from work, they would gather up in the family sedan and drive over to listen to their pastor give his sermon. Max preferred the Wednesday sermons to the Sunday sermons; on the weekend, she had to get up early and put on her nice dress, so her mother had time to fix her hair while her dad put on his best suit. And since her dad was so high up in the church, they had to sit right up front.

Max's dad did his best to ensure his daughter set the example for the other kids, and Max wanted to do a good job. She always sat up straight, didn't fidget in her seat or make a fuss, and tried to pay attention to the pastor when he spoke, though she didn't always understand what he was talking about. He used words that Max's parents didn't say around the house, like 'hell' or 'damnation'.

When she asked later, her dad still had the answers.

"Our religion is the only right one, Maxine," he explained. Max sat on the couch while her dad paced back and forth, her mother fixing dinner in the kitchen. "Pastor Rogers uses bad words because he's passionate. He doesn't want anyone from the church to stray from the flock."

"Why are the other churches wrong?" she asked.

"They're not entirely wrong, they're simply misguided." Her father shook his head. "God is difficult to understand, Maxine. You're young; you won't get it until you're older. But you have to trust Pastor Rogers, your mother, and I. We want what's best for you."

He fixed Max with a hard look. "Do you want to go to heaven, Maxine?"

Max nodded her head vigorously. Of course she did. What a silly question. What kind of good girl didn't?

"Then you need to do as our church says." Her father smiled. "And we'll make sure you get there."

So Max did as she was told.

She wore the dresses her church mandated that women wear. She prayed several times a day; before every meal, when she woke up in the morning, and before she went to bed at night. Max listened to the lessons her parents taught her, and had every correct answer when her school teachers asked her a question about their faith.

"She sets such a good example," her teachers would gush to Ryan and Vanessa Caulfield. "I wish all the other children were as righteous and well-behaved as your daughter was."

Max liked the praise. She was so happy, that her parents were so proud of her. They told her she was the best little girl in the world.

And so Max continued to believe.

* * *

 **2007**

It wasn't until she was eleven, almost twelve, when she started to have the littlest of doubts.

The church ran their own elementary school, which Max attended until the 5th grade. She was meant to attend their junior high school as well, but... something happened. Max wasn't sure what, exactly; rumors flew around the groups of kids, but nobody knew anything for certain. She knew her parents and most of the church parishioners were very upset about it, though. All she could really comprehend was that nobody could go to the church's junior high school anymore.

Her parents talked for a while about home school, but by then her mother had taken on less of a care-giver role around the house, and had started taking a more active role in the church. She had become indispensable for several functions. And she was an Elder's wife; backing out would be highly inappropriate. Home-schooling was no longer feasible.

So Max's parents sat her down, and explained she was going to be going to the local public school for her 6th grade year.

"You're going to hear and see a lot of things that conflict with what you've learned, Maxine," her mother explained sternly. "Girls will not dress appropriately. Boys will act in very inappropriate ways. And your teachers will try to tell you falsehoods."

"Falsehoods?" Max asked, confused. Why would a teacher try to teach lies? It didn't make any sense to her. She was always taught to respect her teachers, and listen to their instructions like they came from her parents. Why were her new teachers so different?

Her parents spent close to two hours reinforcing what she'd learned in the Church's school. Evolution wasn't real, of course, it couldn't be. Dinosaur fossils had been placed in the ground by the devil, to try and sway humanity's faith in God. The world was barely a few thousand years old, after all.

Abstinence before marriage. That was an important one, for the good church girls. Remaining pure until marriage was vital, if they wanted to go to heaven. "Boys are gross." Max said as she wrinkled her nose.

Her parents were happy to hear that, at least. "We don't want you to get involved with any of the boys from that school," her father said. "You're going to marry a nice boy in our church, and have lots of children to love. Doesn't that sound great?"

Max did love kids. As an Elder's daughter, she was such a responsible girl that some of the other parents trusted her to watch their kids, while they went on church business. Mr. and Mrs. Hansen even let her care for their infant, for a couple of hours.

So Max nodded, and continued to believe everything.


	2. Doubts

**2007 (cont)**

So Max nodded, and continued to believe everything.

Until school started.

Almost immediately, Max was thrown out of her element. Her parents hadn't adequately prepared her for what school would be like. Nobody understood why she always wore dresses. Max didn't understand why other girls were allowed to wear such short shorts, or even denim jeans. Or why their sleeves were so short. Or how their parents could just let them show off their stomachs with short shirts.

Or why the boys were allowed to say and do the things they did. She even heard a few of them using curse words in front of teachers, who didn't bat an eye. One of them, she'd even seen smoking around the side of the school. She couldn't believe these children could be so... full of sin. And she could barely handle the thought of being around them.

People made fun of her, of course. The weird religious girl who didn't have any friends. They were merciless; snickering behind her back, pushing her in the hallway, and chanting insults as she went to catch her bus home.

"God tests all of us, Maxine," her father said after she complained. "This is one of your tests. Stay true to our faith, keep to yourself, and you'll be just fine."

So Max did. She isolated herself. Ignored the others students, and focused all of her efforts on her schoolwork.

Or tried to, anyway. She excelled at reading, history and math, but when her father found out what some of her science assignments were, he was not happy. When one such assignment covered the theory of evolution, Max thought the roof of their house was going to blow off.

"LIES!" he would scream. Max had never heard him yell before, and she cowered as he waved her science textbook. He ranted for two hours about all the devil's falsehoods within, and finally threw the offending textbook into the trash.

Max had no idea what to tell the teacher when he asked for her homework the next day. When she did quietly stutter her nervous answer out, Mr. Grayson nodded, ignoring the other student's snickers, and told her to see him after class.

"What church do you go to, Maxine?" he asked when they were alone.

"First Light of Christ," Max explained nervously.

"I see. Well, Maxine-"

"Max," she said quietly.

Mr. Grayson blinked. "You prefer Max?"

"Only my parents and Pastor Roger call me Maxine." She shook her head. "I like Max."

"Ah. Well, Max, I've heard of your church before." A cloud passed over Mr. Grayson's face, but it passed quickly. "What do they tell you about evolution?"

"That it's made up by scientists, because they don't have faith that we were made in God's image." Max parroted what she'd been taught by her old teachers.

"Well, then, Max." Mr. Grayson leaned back. "I'm going to give you a different assignment than the others. Do you think you're up for it?"

Max nodded.

"I want you to write a paper." He nodded. "A research paper."

"What's that?"

Mr. Grayson spent a little time explaining what it meant, to cite her sources, and properly evaluate where she got her information from. "I want you to write a research paper on why evolution is wrong," he finally explained.

"My, uh..." Max's face turned red. "My dad threw away my textbook."

Mr. Grayson pulled a new one out of his desk and held it up. "This one needs to stay at school," he told her as he placed it in front of her. "But I think you'll have better luck doing your research on the computers at the library."

Max's face got redder, and Mr. Grayson tilted his head quizzically after she didn't reply. "Do you know how to use a computer, Max?"

"We don't have one in our house," she answered, embarrassed.

"I see." He sat back and interlaced his fingers across his chest. "Then tomorrow, instead of coming to this class, I want you to go to the library instead and see Mrs. Hoida."

"Why?"

"So she can show you how to use a computer." Max's eyes got wide, and Mr. Grayson leaned forward. "I understand that you're nervous, Max, but computers are going to become more and more commonplace. You need to know how they work, and how to use one. You can't hide from them, I'm afraid."

So Max didn't.

The next day, she went to the library and met with Mrs. Hoida. The librarian, clearly having been told about her by Mr. Grayson, was very kind as she sat Max down in front of the strange machine and showed her how the computer worked. She taught her how to use the internet, and how to use a search engine to find what she needed.

Max's father wasn't happy when Max told him what she was learning at the dinner table. She left out the assignment; she didn't want to hear him yell again. He was, however, very against Max learning to use the internet in general.

But Max's mother, in an INCREDIBLY rare show of disagreement, sided with the school. "Computers are everywhere these days, Ryan," she argued. "They use them at church, remember? Pastor Rogers has one in his office to write sermons."

"We both know what they can expose children too, Vanessa," Max's father replied crossly. "The internet is a dangerous place."

"Well, if we had one at home, honey, we could monitor her use." Max's mother took another bite of dinner. "And, quite frankly, having a computer around the house might be nice. Beth is always going on about the web sites that sell her knitting supplies, and where she gets her new recipes. And I'm sure you could use it for work, too."

"Hmm..." Max's father stroked his beard, in thought.

A week later, her father was reading the instructions to set up their new computer at a desk in the living room.

"You are not to go on the internet without your mother or I knowing first," he lectured to Max when he was finished. "The world wide web is like your science textbook; it's full of lies and deceit, and much, much worse. We don't want to see you hurt by any of it."

True to his word, Max's parents monitored her home internet use closely.

Her internet exposure at school, however, was unchecked, and Max began researching her paper.

And that was when her belief started to shake.

She sometimes imagined the smug look she could give her science teacher when she handed a paper in, explaining that she was right and he wasn't. Evolution couldn't be real; her parents, her church, and her old teachers had said so. So she entered what she'd learned into Google, and hit the search button.

And the entire page of results was all the proof that she was wrong, and Mr. Grayson was right.

She even found a page detailing the EXACT lesson she'd been taught in her old school, complete with pictures of her textbook, and a full list of counterpoints. Her parents and teachers had just explained that evolution wasn't real, and Max had accepted that as a fact, but The Internet had lists of reasons why it was real. There were pictures of all the different skulls, showing the small steps between Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens. More pictures, from Sabre-Toothed Tigers to housecats. Charts. Simplified explanations that Max could understand, even with her lacking scientific knowledge.

And it all made sense. Max spent days reading everything. The few sites that agreed with her, on the stance that evolution wasn't real, were all religious, and only cited bible passages. No pictures, no charts, no scientists. And they all repeated themselves, over and over. Even when she tried to cite them, she couldn't meet the page requirement Mr. Graham had given her.

That was the first night Max cried. Not because she was upset, but because she was scared. Scared of what her parents would say when they found out she knew that evolution was real.

So she didn't tell them.

She begged Mr. Grayson not to tell her parents, and she started doing her science classwork at the library after school. She told her family that she was walking home later than usual because she was studying her history homework, and her father didn't question it.

When her report card came in, and showed her good grades in Science, he accepted the answer that she'd just copied what was in the textbook, and nothing more.

He never suspected that she was using the internet at school to learn what else the church was wrong about.


	3. Thoughts

**2010**

A couple of years later, she entered the local high school. And that's when she found out that Physical Education was taken more seriously

Max was still wearing the dresses her parents made her put on. Back in junior high, the gym class was mostly a joke; she went through the entire period reading her schoolwork on the sidelines, the teacher uncaring. But in high school, she was expected to participate.

Which meant she had to change into athletic clothing in the locker rooms.

Her parents were completely against it, but a phone call from the assistant principal made it very clear; Max would take part in PE, or she would fail the class. As such, she needed appropriate clothing, and her dresses would not suffice. Additionally, the principal had received notes from her new Chemistry and Home Economics teachers as well. In both classes, Max would be working with fire, as she utilized stoves and Bunsen burners. Max would not be allowed to wear her dresses to those classes, either.

Max's parents weren't happy, but at the end of the day her safety was on the line. And for all of their faults, they did love their daughter. So they took her to Target, and brought new outfits. Max tried on denim jeans for the first time, and found that she actually liked them. T-shirts were a no-go; the ones the store had showed off way too much arm. So long-sleeves were her new norm.

As for athletic clothes, her parents brought her long pants and long sleeves as well. But Max quickly learned that they weren't exactly ideal, especially when they went running around the track in the beginning of the year. By the time Max finished her mile of laps, she was drowning in sweat.

"Why do you wear those pants? They're stupid."

Max froze in the locker room, caught as she was changing back into her regular clothes; she'd thought she was alone. She quickly pulled her shirt back on.

"Hello? Did you hear me?"

Max turned and blinked. One of the other girls was standing on front of her, in her black running shorts and a grey sports bra. Max tried to avert her eyes. _She's almost naked!_

"You're going to die if you wear those pants again tomorrow," the girl commented, her hands on her hips. "You need to get some shorts."

Max's face turned red as the girl refused to go away, and she forced herself to meet her gaze, looking at her bright green eyes and short blonde hair. "My, uh..." she swallowed. "My parents won't let me wear shorts."

"What?" The blonde girl frowned. "That's stupid, why... oh, wait a second." Her eyes narrowed. "You're that religious weirdo. I heard about you from the other kids."

Max sighed. "Yea. I, uh, get that a lot."

The blonde crossed her arms and sighed. "Why aren't you allowed to wear shorts? Do you think they'll turn you into a slut or something?"

Max's face turned even redder. "It's... look, can I please get changed?"

"I'm not stopping you." The girl didn't break eye contact. "Look... here, stand up."

"Why?"

"Oh, just do it."

Max stood, and watched the girl place her hands back on her hips, judging. Then she reached out and grabbed Max's hips, her fingers grazing bare skin. Max gasped. "What are you doing?"

"We're the same size." The girl nodded. "Listen, you need to wear shorts when you run. I'll bring you in one of my old pairs, okay? You don't need to pass out on the track. Then they'll have to call an ambulance, you'll go to the ER, and you'll never live it down."

"I can't-"

"Do your parents work here?"

Max frowned. "No."

"Then you'll be fine to wear them for thirty minutes a day."

Max started to argue, but stopped. She was still sweating from the run, and couldn't bear the thought of doing it over again tomorrow.

"... thank you."

"Don't mention it."

True to her word, when Max saw her the next day, the girl pressed a pair of light blue running shorts into Max's hands, as well as a red t-shirt. Neither were incredibly revealing; the shorts came to about mid-thigh, and the shirt had real sleeves. Max was still incredibly nervous, but she found herself quickly not caring after she started running; it was SO much better, having the air on her skin.

"Told you," the girl said smugly after Max finished.

"Yea." Max clutched her arms and looked around, still nervous that someone would see her.

Back in the locker room, she changed as quickly as she could and tried to give the clothes back. "You can keep them, they're yours," the blonde girl said simply when Max met her at her locker. "They're all sweaty from you, anyway. I don't want them back."

"But-"

The girl grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up over her head, and Max's face turned red again. "I have more clothes than I know what to do with," the blonde said, ignoring Max as she threw her shirt into her locker. "Besides, you need them more than me. Keep them."

"Oh. Well-" Max's voice failed as the blonde girl stripped her shorts off, throwing them after her shirt. Then the girl grabbed her sports bra, and pulled it off as well. Max spun around, her face practically on fire.

"What are you doing?"

"Giving you some privacy," Max squeaked.

"Uh, we're both girls. But, whatever. Like I said, you need a pair of running shorts, and I don't. You can have them."

Max stammered out a thank you and hustled out of the locker room.

When she went to bed that night, she tried very hard to think of anything else. Anything that wasn't the brief glimpse she'd gotten of the blonde girl.

She only wore the shorts for the next couple of weeks, before the fall got too cold and she switched back to her long pants. The blonde girl didn't stop wearing her shorts. Every so often, Max found herself staring at the blonde girl's legs as she ran down the track. Or played basketball. Or when she wore shorts to class, and sat in front of her in History.

She found the girl's name out a week or so after her initial encounter; Victoria Chase. A Junior who was on the track team, debate team, and the vice-president of the Vortex Club. Max was too shy to ever approach her again, after the second encounter in the locker room; it seemed like every time she thought about it, her face got hot, and she thought about her legs again.

 _What is WRONG with me?!_

Max laid in bed awake at night a lot, even after her parents had gone to sleep. Trying to come to terms with her thoughts.

 _Why can't I stop thinking about it?_

 _Am I-_

 _No. I don't like girls. I do NOT like girls._

The very thought terrified Max. Pastor Rogers had spoken dozens of times about the dangers of the gays, and their agenda to infect the minds of others with evil thoughts. Max had never met one herself, of course, since they weren't allowed in the church.

 _I wonder if Victoria is-_

No. Nope. Quash that thought. Max rolled over and closed her eyes, trying to will her thoughts away.

She tried to ignore Victoria when she saw her. She focused more on her schoolwork. Her November report card showed a remarkable improvement in her grades, which her parents were very proud of her for.

Max found herself in early December, sitting in the cafeteria alone while she ate her lunch and read her history book.

"Is anyone sitting here?"

Max looked up at Victoria, and froze. The blonde girl blinked as she stared at Max. "Is. Anyone. Sitting. Here?" she repeated after a few seconds, pointing to the seat in front of Max.

"Uh... no?" Max replied.

"Cool." Victoria dropped her backpack and sat down, placing her salad on the table in front of her. "So, what's up?"

"What are you doing?" Max asked warily.

"I'm talking to you." Victoria speared some of her salad and bit into it. "You're kind of ignoring everybody."

"I've been studying," Max replied nervously.

Victoria glanced at her book. "I see that. You're the only one in here reading their textbook, you know."

Max glanced around and saw that Victoria was right. "I'm, uh, just making sure I'm ahead."

"Right on." Victoria shrugged. "Well, you wanna put it to good use?"

"Huh?"

"I had an ulterior motive for coming over." Victoria took another bite of her salad. "One of the girls just dropped out of our Quiz Bowl team, and we need a replacement. And you've always got your nose in your books. You wanna take her place?"

Max furrowed her brow. "Quiz Bowl? What's that?"

"Our school's trivia team." Victoria shrugged. "We do competitions and shit around the county. Looks good on a college resume. You want in? Because we can't really find anyone else."

Max bit her lip, unsure of what to answer.

"Ugh. Look, if you-"

"Okay."

Victoria blinked. "You're in?"

"Yea. Sure."

"Sweet." Victoria nodded. "We meet tomorrow after school in Mr. North's classroom to practice. See you there?"

"Uh, yea. Definitely."

"Cool." Victoria grinned.

And Max could've sworn her heart felt light for a second.


	4. The Quiz Bowl

**2010 (Cont)**

Max's parents were supportive when she told them about being asked to join the Quiz Bowl team. So the next afternoon, after school ended, Max had her first meeting with the others. They sat her down and threw questions at her from all the different categories; history, mathematics, current events... she was able to correctly answer most of them, until they started throwing science questions at her.

"She's lacking," the brown-haired girl with the beanie commented, once they were done. "Like, pretty behind, on biology. More than I'd expect even a freshman to be."

"Yea, but she's on point with math and history," Victoria pointed out. Max let herself smile at the compliment. "And she did good enough on current events. Besides, Steph, nobody else is interested in taking Crystal's spot."

"Yea, true." Steph nodded and turned back to Max. "Can you get caught up on the science stuff? Like, quickly?"

The boy next to her scoffed. "Please. The weirdo probably thinks the planet is only a thousand years old or whatever."

Max's face grew red. She knew otherwise, despite what her parents and the church had tried to teach her. But it seemed like arguing would be counter-productive, given the circumstances.

"Stuff it, Nathan." Steph shot him a glare before she turned back to Max. "Seriously, though, you do need to know the material. Can you get caught up before this weekend?"

"Totally." Max nodded enthusiastically.

"Great." Victoria nodded. "Because this Saturday we're competing against Derby High School, and we need a fourth person on the board."

Max hesitated, but she saw the expectant look on Victoria's face. "I'll get caught up, I promise."

Max took her science book home that night. She usually kept it in her locker, to avoid a repeat of her Junior High incident with her father. But this was important, too; she wanted to do well, and if that meant studying material she wasn't supposed to be believing, than so be it. She waited until after her parents had both gone to bed and stayed up late with a flashlight, going through the book and learning what she could.

Her parents drove her to Derby High School that weekend, and watched her participate. Max was especially nervous as they focused on her, while the judges read the rules and announced the categories. _Man, I don't want to have to explain why I know some of this stuff,_ she worried as she picked at her fingernails.

Luckily, Max was only called for one science question, and it had to do with chemistry, not something her parents or the church had taught her. She answered everything else correctly, as did Steph; Victoria and Nathan both dropped a couple of questions. But it was still enough to win.

Max's smile was about to break her face when she high-fived Victoria.

She was using the bathroom before her parents drove her back, washing her hands, when she heard Steph speak from behind her. "You're crushing pretty hard, you know that?"

Max turned to see the other girl lean against the wall, smirking. "I'm what now?" she replied, confused.

"Crushing, Max." Steph grinned. "On Victoria?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, come on." Steph rolled her eyes. "It's painfully obvious that you have a crush on her."

Max's face reddened quickly. "No I don't!"

"Uh huh." Steph shook her head. "My Gaydar is pinging like crazy, Max. I know we just met, but-"

"I do NOT have a crush on Victoria," Max protested vehemently.

Steph cocked her head. "Is it your parents? That whole religion thing?"

Max didn't answer as she dried her hands and turned to leave. Steph caught her elbow as she was about to walk out. "Look, I didn't mean to make fun of you," she said, her grin now gone. "If you want to talk about it, I-"

"There's nothing to talk about." Max jerked her arm back and left to meet her parents, purposefully avoiding Victoria on her way out.

Max's parents were both very proud of her, but they had a serious conversation when they got home. Max's father, in particular, was concerned about what his daughter might be learning, regarding the other science questions he'd heard asked. And Max hadn't worn a dress to the competition; she worn the Quiz Bowl t-shirt over a long sleeved shirt. Him and her mother were both very concerned, about what she was picking up at her school.

She downplayed everything. She only studied the book because that's what the questions were based off of. She knew what was true in her heart, and was certainly smart enough to recognize the falsehoods taught in public school. And they were required to wear the Quiz Bowl t-shirts while competing; wouldn't it have looked silly, if she'd worn it over her dress?

Her parents were satisfied with her replies. They couldn't imagine their daughter showing any form of disobedience; they both knew they had raised her well. Her answers were accepted, and they dropped the subject.

Max was up late again that night, trying very hard not to think about Victoria. And her conversation with Steph. She did that that a lot more often, the more she hung out with them.

For the rest of the year, she focused on her schoolwork and the Quiz Bowl team. She got all A's on her final report card, except for a B- in chemistry. While she hung out with the others, she got to know Victoria and Steph pretty well, and became friendly with both of them; they were the first two real friends she'd made outside of the church.

Over the summer, she attended her church's summer camp, working as a junior counselor with the other teenagers. She had to revert back to being the extremely religious girl; wearing dresses all the time, praying, daily sermons, everything stereotypical about bible camp.

After a year of high school, and being around teenagers who were far more tolerant and way more fun to be with… she was slowly starting to resent it.

And her church, in general.


	5. Realization

**September, 2011**

By the beginning of September, she hated the dresses they made her wear; they were hot, didn't breathe, and itchy. She hated getting up at five in the morning to help the other junior counselors prepare games and activities for the younger kids. She hated that the boys were allowed to wear shorts and t-shirts, and she wasn't.

And she found herself arguing with the camp pastor in her head.

 _Have you even MET any gays?_ She thought to herself as the man droned on and on about how they were unnatural and evil. Max couldn't stop thinking about Steph; while they were a little standoff-ish for a while after that first competition, Max did still think of her as a friend. And she was one of the nicest girls in school. She certainly wasn't trying to recruit Max, like the pastor was warning about.

The camp pastor went on and on. The younger kids nodded, absorbing his every word. The other teenagers, having heard the sermon dozens of times, looked bored. Max just resented him.

Max knew the earth wasn't six thousand years old anymore. _Hell, even the Pope agrees with that!_ Max thought angrily, careful not to let her face betray her emotions. She knew that the dinosaurs had been real. The outside world was NOT desperately trying to destroy the sacred bonds between Man and God. It was everything to keep her frustrations off her face.

Even worse, there was nobody she could talk about when it came to her thoughts. The reasons she couldn't fall asleep at night, especially when she thought about her crush on Victoria. One of the junior counselors had already been sent home for talking to another teenager about his feelings towards other boys. The rumor in the teenager's building was that he had found himself at one of 'those' camps.

Max shuddered. She swore she wouldn't go to a camp like that. She'd heard terrible stories. Read about them on the internet at school, where her father still couldn't monitor her.

She still didn't understand how it could be so bad. She still thought about Victoria sometimes, at night, and her cheeks grew warm. Especially when she thought about what she'd seen in the locker room. _She is really pretty..._

She finally left the camp the week before school started, and she was eager to start her sophomore year.

She met and caught up again with Victoria and Steph; Nathan had transferred to another school. They quickly found a new student to replace him with before their first competition, just after Max's sixteenth birthday.

"Did your parents get you anything good?" Steph asked when they were all in the cafeteria over lunch, a couple of days later.

Max shrugged. "A necklace," she replied, digging it out from under her shirt. She showed them the silver chain and ornate cross. "It's a family heirloom. It belonged to my great-grandmother."

"Oh, that's pretty." Victoria nodded. "I think mine are going to get me a car this year. They've been dropping hints about me finally being able to drive myself around."

"Boy, I wish I had parents who were loaded." Steph smirked. "My mom got me the boxed set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, though, that was pretty badass. I binge-watched it in, like five days."

"Nerd." Victoria snickered, then glanced at her watch and got up. "I gotta go. Taylor wanted to grab something from my locker. See you girls after school."

Max watched her go, trying not to let her eyes linger; Victoria was wearing shorts again. She turned back to Steph and bit her lip, hesitating.

"What?" Steph took another bite of her lunch. "You okay?"

"How did you know you were gay?" Max blurted out.

Steph's eyebrows arched in surprise. "Wow," she commented. "I'll be honest. Wasn't expecting that. Why do you ask?"

Max's face got red, and she didn't answer.

Steph glanced around. "Max..." she hesitated. "I told you last year, if you want to-"

"I'm just curious," Max interrupted.

"Uh-huh." Steph put her sandwich down and folded her hands. "I... well, I've always known, more or less. Ever since I was old enough to be interested one way or another."

"Interested?"

"In boys or girls, Max." Steph shrugged.

"Oh." Max fell silent.

"Max..." Steph caught her eye. "Do you want to talk about something?"

Max sighed. "No," she said remorsefully, leaning on her elbows.

"Are there any boys or girls YOU want to talk about?"

Max's face grew hot again. "Not really."

Steph hesitated. "This… Max, does this have anything to do with your church's legal problems? From this summer?"

"Legal problems? What legal problems?" Max glanced back at Steph, puzzled.

"Oh… you didn't know." Steph bit her lip. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

Max leaned forward. "Steph, what are you talking about?"

"If you don't know, I'm not sure it's my place to tell you." Steph glanced around. "I'm gonna go. Just... I'm always here if you want to talk, Max. Okay?"

Max couldn't get what Steph had said out of her mind, so during her study hall that afternoon, she got a library pass and did something she'd never done before. She sat down at a computer, and Googled the First Light of Christ church.

And her belief shook to the core.

The Wikipedia page that came up was terrifying. Max's mouth dropped in horror as she read through it. She found entries going all the way back into the 1970's, revealing the numerous church officials that were arrested for polygamy, some of their wives as young as twelve. The page detailed accounts of the abuse endured by the child brides of the church.

 _This can't be real,_ Max thought in horror. _No. No, this is just a bad example. I've never seen anything like this. I've never even heard of any of these families._

The paragraphs didn't get much better as Max caught up to current events. Max found one less than ten years old, where an investigative reporter uncovered millions of dollars in financial fraud, going back to the church's beginnings. Another paragraph detailed the arrest of several church members for covering up the crimes of a pastor. Crimes involving children of a terribly young age. Max involuntarily shuddered as she pressed on.

The next paragraph shed some light on why Max was forced to go to public school after her first six years of education; the academic credentials of the schools run by the church were revoked. The government had forced them to close, after their curriculum was found to be entirely based on the bible. The entry stated everything had come to light after a student ran away from the high school, which had placed him in a "punishment chamber" for hours at a time, for the offense of questioning the decision of a teacher.

Max finally found an entry that had been added over the summer. She read how Pastor Rogers had been arrested for assault and battery, after a young man had been beaten with a blunt instrument so severely that he required surgery. Max's lip quivered as she went to the cited article and read about the boy who had confided in his "homosexual thoughts" to another teenager at her summer camp, and had been promptly reported and taken to the church for "treatment".

The article used a word Max had never seen aimed at her church...

Cult.

 _The members are essentially brainwashed to believe numerous lies, such as..._

 _... children, some as young as six, taught at a summer camp to..._

 _...parishioners tithing as much as thirty percent of their income, leaving many on food stamps..._

And then Max found the sentence that made her heart drop.

 _Pastor Michael Rogers' attorney, Ryan Caulfield, made a statement to the press the afternoon following his client's arrest..._

Her dad was the lawyer defending the pastor who'd almost killed a teenager. For thinking he was gay.

Max closed the browser window and ran out of the library, straight for the closest bathroom. She found the closest stall and slammed the door shut, locking it behind her as she sat down.

And she cried.

Everything she thought she'd known was a lie.


End file.
